Im just doing me. 19-06.09

Sometimes in life its hard to remember whats truely important in your mind.. & not to get distracted by anything.. but this time in my life, im finding it pretty damn easy to JUST. DO. ME. Im just doing my own thing.. going my own way and staying true to myself. Theres so many people in the world.. especially in dancing, who will just try to bring you down in their actions and words.. a good friend of mine reminded me that ‘the easiest thing to do in life is to just cut people down’.. and its so true. Lately i noticed a few people tryna get in my way.. hold me down.. it just makes me ten times stronger and if you're gonna be tryna push hold me down.. when i get up its just gonna be tens times stronger; you always have to rememebr though, people say things for one reason or another.. everyone has insecurities and no matter what you do in your life, there is always someone who will have something negative to say about it, i guess this just proves how there really is no point in giving a damn what people have to say.. just do your thing, do it well... work hard.. and love it, the people that matter will care and respect you. I love people doubting me.. wheres the fun in people saying ' i knew you do it'. you didnt, and ima do it for myself. I always stand by the fact that you have to just focus on yourself; ‘hold your own, know your name and go your own way’.. I always wanna say I did this myself.. everything myself.. pretty much makes everything a hell of a lot more real and special to me.
At the end of the day, all you have is your dream and yourself, no one and nothing else; so you have to make the most of both these things, people will come and people will go.. but its as simple as this.. the people that are important in your life will either stay with you or they’ll leave a mark.
I have a few close friends who I truly adore.. they know who they are.. ive met all of them in the past year.... its crazy, sometimes you think ‘wow where have you been all my life’, but like Cristina has said, some people are like angels.. seriously, they are just MEANT to be there at certain times in your life.. i don’t need anyone to understand or ‘get me’.. these people don’t even have to try to get me.. I don’t have to explain to them.. and when I do.. they just know.. they just know. Recently.. I realised just how much they mean to me
Its crazy.. ive been in the UK for 18 years.. my whole life, ive lived in 6 different places.. different cities, 4 different schools.. so many different people.. and my mum asked me the other day what im gonna miss when I leave the uk. ‘nothing;. And I meant it.. I truly meant it.. how can you miss a place you don’t belong in, where you don’t feel your getting everything you want.. and where people just don’t get it. I’ll miss my soulstars.. the people I call my ‘family’ – my true friends them very few selected people I’ll ‘miss’. But anyone else.. no… I wont miss. And im not sorry.. My life hasnt even begun yet, it begins in LA. I spent most of my childhood trying to be ‘nice’, to be fair I kind of had no choice.. I went to 6 different schools so was constantly told I ‘had to try and make friends’..looking back I chased people that weren’t important.. but I guess that’s justbeing young, growing up and again- belonging... finding yourself. I now realise im not in this to be ‘nice’.. the fake kind, im in this to be true to who and what counts, to work hard and do everything I can to make this work.. more than work. Im looking out for 'number one'.. i HAVE to be selfish now.. thats what it takes. When you find yourself, you find who are what you are..what your meant to be, how your gonna get there and finally you find out who is really important to you.... sometimes ‘why’ or explaining yourself doesn’t matter.. in your heart you just know, its that comfort that I have recently found that is so important.. you just do you.. I work hard, I know in my own mind who I am, who I’ll be and where I’ll be.. that’s all that matters to me, no explaining. When im training and dancing, just today actually.. it clicked with me.. after kind of a few hard weeks at work.. and with a few people.. that nothing matters.. nothing at all.. this is it. this is me. im just doing me. everyone else that is stepping on my toes can go run their mouth, ima work ten times harder and rise while your hoping i fall.
In yourself is where you’ll find happiness. The truth will set you free.

"wear my shoes just to see what its like to be me, i'll be you lets trade shoes just to see what itd be like to feel your pain you feel mine ; go inside each others minds just to see what we find. look at shit through eachothers eyes, but don't let em say you ain't beautiful...they can all get fucked just stay true to you" - Eminem - 'Beautiful'


"we will kill or be killed, its about progress" -'plans' - bloc party


'ima keep my head up like my nose is bleeding'



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